I seem to be making it a habit. And now, its positively embarrassing. So I shant apologise for the hopeless delay in writing to you this time. I would rather say thanks for bearing with me. Ya, believe me, I have been losing fans and friends because of my absolute inability to write here.

Now, cant afford that for too long. Guys, please come back. I promise to behave next time.

Am going to be politically incorrect this time. Too much bottled up within, you see.

Am seriously irritated with the way we urbanites decide we are superior to the rural or tribal people or even animals. Why? We speak English, right. We take bath, we have these big, neat houses, an 'education', we eat at a dining table, we go to the gym, know all about raindances, cardio and aerobics, sushi, spanish food, russian coffee, and what-have-you. Our kids go to IB schools or boarding. And, of course, we love dressing up like the west.

In some inexplicable way, that makes us superior to someone who gets his hands dirty toiling on the fields, doesnt get power to run his fan at home or water to nourish his field, lives off roti and onion or just roti on leaner days, cant afford to send his kid to the municipal school beyond 5 years because he needs an additional hand on the field, speaks a coarse dialect of an Indian language and spends a lifetime struggling to make two ends meet .

Heard two-three journos the other day talking (in clipped tones, why that is such a fad I cant fathom) about how Maharashtra chief minister Vilasrao Deshmukh insists on talking in English. Said one in a well-cultivated nasal twang that made her voice sharp and highly unappealing, "When I met him, I kept talking in Hindi and Marathi but he would insist on talking in englisss. He knows ours is an engliss publication. And God, he simply cant speak a wordddd.. Uf."

Am equanimous about politicians but whenever I have spoken to this CM, he has happily spoken to me in Hindi and Marathi and when I have spoken in English (I have these spells of blanking out on Marathi), he's responded in that language in a completely legible way.

Considering the exposure of these almighty journos to politicians including the CM is even less than mine, it got me thinking about why they were doing this. It's the age-old problem of reverse chivalry. We have settled our thinking that east or west, English is the best. And anybody who doesnt know the language is doomed.

And God, am I glad I speak it! Imagine how I would have fared had my parents decided to send me to an Indian language school. I know very bright journos earning Rs 20,000 a month after 15 years in the field and not getting half the respect I get only because they went to a non-English school. Naseerudding Shah had once said the same thing about Om Puri: that Puri was a superior actor but not given his due because, well, he was not the suave, English-speaking Shah.

You are reading me today because I am speaking from a position of strength as we see it. Had I studied in Gujarati and timidly complained about discrimination, I wouldnt have got half a ear.

Believe me, it gives me no pleasure to be better-off than them on this count. I think it's terrible the way a country of one billion plus simply sinks its head in the sand, not just with no self-respect but also with lots of shame at being what it is. And what is it that brings this hopeless identity crisis on? I have no idea.

Try speaking to someone in the first class compartment in Hindi and she will give you an offended or a withering look. It's happened with me. When someone speaks in Hindi, I end up answering in English if I think it's an educated person. Years and layers of conditioning that will probably never come off.

We can, however, do something. We can try to be conscious of it each time we run someone down simply because he can't speak English. We can also try to see that we speak an Indian language when we speak to a stranger outside our professional circles, if possible. It's ok if your English gets a little forgotten in a process. Better than to forget a history thats millions of years old. And your own identity.

Who knows, we could actually get some sense of self-pride back along the way, and learn that we arent really too bad after all.

Can sense that pent-up anger rising. So, let me calm my nerves while u take a commercial break. I will be right back.