We put so many labels on people.. hot-tempered, cool, lazy, conformist, rebellious, smart, go-getter etc. The very first sight of a person immediately relays some signals to us, wittingly and unwittingly. The basic ones concern her appearance.
Then, when we exchange hellos, we make the secondary assessment. This, again, happens entirely unconsciously so much so that it is almost involuntary. As we get to know the person, we begin adding adjectives to that personality profile we have sketched up in our heads. It's a conditioning of decades. Pur entire perception of a person is based on the package presented by a person in terms of her appearance, outward personality, mannerisms, manners, behaviour, gestures, language, body language, opinions et al.
This is how we decide whom to like or dislike, whom to admire or respect. I get fascinated by the way we form such firm judgments and stick to them. It is out of this fascination that I often set out to shock or surprise. All my life, I have worn my hair short. One day, I decided to grow it. The simple act of tying up my hair in a ponytail came with attendant risks of altered perceptions.
Suddenly, I seemed to have become more conservative, more conformist and less assertive. The number of women who usually check me out in the train had suddenly shrunk. Even in the way I tied my ponytail --a little higher than most-- and the length to which I grew--never more than shoulder level -- seemed to say things about me. To some, that suggested strong opinions. To others, it was a business-like approach to things. As a friend explained, "It shows you dont care to be feminine by wearing your hair around your neck. You'd rather leave your neck comfortable."
The same look can be interpreted in different ways, depending on where you are coming from.
At a college where I taught, one boy with longish hair used to wear slip-ons and earrings in my class. He looked rather shabby to me and rugged to his cooing irl classmates. He would often make some interesting comments now and then about the subject under discussion but I would indulge him only as briefly as I could without being obvious. One day, he had a makeover. A short crop, and a mama's boy look and I suddenly warmed up to him. He seemed manageable!
So much hinges on the way we look and dress that I am often tempted to experiment -- not so much with appearance, given my rigid sensibilities in that respect -- with my behaviour patterns
just to see what response it gets. And here's my simple but profound and unshakeable conclusion: it may take years for you to get any respect but people will change their opinion about you in a flash with one wrong move, say or gesture on your part even if that there is nothing indecent, unfair or indictment-worthy in that behaviour.
Point two. People will be more ready to spread the bad word about you than the good. In other words, they are more keen to bitch about you than say something good.
Point three. When you're in the doghouse, all your good deeds are fast forgotten. They simply dont count. Period.
Confession:
These observations are based not so much on my personal 'experimentation' when the fancy catches me but mostly on my personal experiences including the way I react to people!!
After all, I'm made of the same substance you are.
You're welcome to say, Touche!
